Caregiver guilt is like an all-you-can-eat buffet of self-doubt, and no matter how much you try to avoid it, it can feel like someone is always trying to pile more on your plate.

• You’re not doing enough.
• You’re doing too much.
• You should take a break. (But if you do, you’re selfish!)
• You should put them in a home. (How could you even THINK that?)

Why Caregivers Feel Guilty About Everything

No matter what choice you make, someone will have an opinion. And worst of all? You are probably your own worst critic.

• If you spend time with them, you feel guilty for wanting time away.
• If you take a break, you feel guilty for not being there.
• If you lose your temper, you feel guilty for not being more patient.
• If you feel relieved after a hard day, you feel guilty for even thinking it.

Breaking the Cycle of Guilt

Guilt means you care. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. You are human. Not a machine. Not a saint. A person who needs balance. Perfection is a myth. No caregiver is doing this “perfectly” because perfection in caregiving does not exist [at least when you’re really in the trenches].

Caregiver Hack of the Week: The ‘Reverse What If’ Method

Instead of spiraling into “What if I’m failing?”, try this:

🔹 What if I’m actually doing a damn good job?

🔹 What if my loved one appreciates me more than they can say?

🔹 What if I stopped measuring myself by impossible standards?

The next time guilt creeps in, remind yourself: You are doing the best you can with what you have.

And that? That is enough. Read that again. That is enough! Truly it is!