Between the Love and Overwhelm

Caregiving for aging parents and loved ones is often romanticized as a noble, fulfilling act—a way to give back to those who once cared for us. The image of a devoted son or daughter selflessly tending to a parent in their golden years is ingrained in our cultural narratives. We picture peaceful moments: preparing home-cooked meals, reminiscing over old memories, and ensuring their comfort in familiar surroundings. It’s framed as a labor of love, a sacred duty, something we do without question.

But behind the heartwarming portrayals lies a much harsher reality, particularly for those living in rural areas with limited support systems. The emotional, physical, and financial toll of caregiving can be immense. Unlike urban settings, where home health aides, transportation services, and medical facilities are more accessible, rural caregivers often face the daunting challenge of managing everything on their own. Medical specialists may be hours away, in-home help may be scarce or unaffordable, and respite care—essential for avoiding burnout—is nearly nonexistent.

I know this struggle firsthand. I’ve been doing this day in and day out for almost six years. It’s grueling, exhausting, and the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t like it, but at the same time, I wouldn’t want anyone else taking care of my mom because no one will do it with as much love as I will. That’s the paradox of caregiving—it drains you, but you also can’t imagine entrusting your loved one’s care to anyone else. Some people are naturally cut out for being a caregiver, but this girl is not. Don’t misunderstand, I’m still honored to do it, but the personal sacrifices are immense and in many different ways.

Finding Support in Rural Areas

While caregiving in a rural setting presents unique challenges, there are some ways to help make it more manageable:

1. Join a Caregiving Support Group – Whether in-person or online, connecting with others who understand the struggles of caregiving can be life-changing. Even if there are no local groups, virtual communities on Facebook or through organizations like the Caregiver Action Network can provide encouragement and advice. I run a local caregiver’s group, and I love my Caregiver Sisters, we laugh and cry together – shared advice, and know that we are there for each other. It’s sacred and safe place for us.
2. Seek Help from Your Church or Community – Churches and faith-based organizations often have volunteers willing to help with errands, meals, or simply sitting with your loved one for an hour or two so you can take a break. Don’t hesitate to ask your pastor or local congregation for support.
3. Sign Your Loved One Up for Meals – It’s one less meal you don’t have to cook in a day – and you can even get one for yourself. Call you local senior center and ask how to sign up. Even cooking one less meal a day helps the load.
4. Look Into Local Assisted Living Homes for Respite Programs – Some assisted living facilities offer short-term stays, allowing caregivers a few days or weeks of much-needed rest. While it may feel difficult to let go, taking advantage of these programs can help prevent burnout.
5. Remind Yourself That This is Temporary – When you’re in the thick of caregiving, it feels endless. But one day, this role will come to an end. Keeping that in mind can help you push through the hardest moments. There will come a time when you’ll look back and know that, despite the struggles, you did everything in your power for your loved one.

The pendulum between Love and Overwhelm swings short, but just know that by being in the moment -this moment – right now – it will help even the swing. Praying for you, loving you, and right there in the trenches with you friends. Until next time….