Caregiving is often a storm—chaotic, exhausting, and unpredictable. There are days when confusion reigns, when my loved one is lost in a world I can’t quite reach. But then, there are these days—the golden ones. The moments when the clouds part, the confusion fades, and for a little while, I have my mom back.

And when that happens? I drop everything.

Meetings can wait. Tasks can be pushed. The world keeps spinning, but for me, time stands still. Because I don’t know when, or if, I’ll get another moment like this. So, I clear the schedule and plan our own little getaway. A lunch date. A shopping trip. A long, slow conversation filled with all the questions I can think to ask.

It’s not just another day. It’s a vacation for the soul.

When her eyes are clear and her voice is steady, I don’t waste a second. I ask all the things.

20 Questions and Laughter

• How did you meet dad?
• Tell me about your wedding day. (It’s such a good story. They got married on Christmas – talk about Hallmark)
• What’s the funniest thing I did as a kid?
• What do you want me to remember most about you?

And that last question? That’s the one that stopped me in my tracks.

“That I have always loved you so much.”

Cue the waterworks. Because at the end of everything—after all the struggle, the hard days, the heartache—that’s what matters. Love.

Basking in the Magic of the Moment

There’s something sacred about these days. It’s like stepping into a time capsule, a fleeting glimpse into the past when everything was normal. When she’s fully her, we laugh harder, we share memories, and I hold on as tightly as I can.

She tells me stories I’ve never heard before. We giggle like old friends over coffee. We browse through stores, picking out things we don’t need but will cherish anyway. We just exist together, without worry or stress.

And in those hours, I don’t think about the future. I don’t brace for the storm to return. I just bask in the sunshine, soaking in every precious second.

A List of Questions to Ask While You Can

If you’re lucky enough to have these moments with your loved one, be ready. Don’t let them slip away. Here are some of my favorite questions to ask:

Family & Childhood:

• What was your childhood home like?
• Who was your best friend growing up?
• What did you love most about your parents?
• What’s the funniest family memory you have?

Love & Life:

• How did you meet your spouse?
• What advice would you give about love and marriage?
• If you could relive one day, which would it be?
• What’s something you’re most proud of?

Hopes & Dreams:

• What did you want to be when you grew up?
• If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
• Is there anything you wish you had done differently?
• What’s one thing you want me to always remember?

Just for Fun:

• What was your first job, and what did you love/hate about it?
• What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?
• What song always makes you smile?
• What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

The Afterglow

When these moments end, and the memory closet locks, I hold them close. I write things down. I tuck memories into my heart like love notes for the future. And I remind myself—this is why I do what I do.

Caregiving is hard. But these days? These golden moments? They make it all worth it.

So, the next time clarity comes, don’t let it slip by. Drop the to-do list. Cancel the call. Take the day off. Because these are the moments that will stay with you forever.

And when you ask, What do you want me to remember most?—the answer might just change everything.

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Caregiver Hack of the Week:

“The Memory Journal” – Keep a small notebook to jot down stories, quotes, and special moments your loved one shares. Even if they fade from their mind, they’ll live on forever in yours.

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What’s the best memory you’ve captured in a moment of clarity? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear your stories.