“I Was Going to Try and Be Independent Today”

Honoring the quiet bravery behind their everyday efforts

This morning, I was rushing around, slightly frazzled (what’s new) and trying to keep all the wheels turning. The coffee hadn’t hit yet, the to-do list was already mocking me from the counter, my phone was dinging away, and I was impatiently asking my mom why she didn’t just ask me for help.

And then she said it. So soft. So matter-of-fact. “I was going to try and be independent today.”

And there it is. I stopped cold. The air whooshed out of my lungs. Because that sentence? It landed like a ton of bricks wrapped in velvet.

In my exhaustion, I forgot—she’s still trying. Behind the misfires is the woman who ran a successful business, raised a family, played the organ at church (and still does), and fiercely values her independence.

She’s not just my mom. She’s a woman trying her hardest to keep her sense of self intact.

While I’m navigating my overwhelm, she’s quietly mourning the things she can no longer do… and still reaching for them. And, she’s doing it with more grace than I will ever have.

We’re Both Trying.

It’s easy to get lost in the logistics of caregiving:
The meds. The appointments. The repetitions. The never-ending decisions. The responsibility. But sometimes, what they really want — what they really need — is the chance to feel capable again. To say, “I was going to try…” That is courage. That is strength. That is a love story we don’t talk about enough.

A Gentle Reminder

We’re not just caregivers. We’re guardians of dignity.
And sometimes, that means stepping back instead of stepping in.

Let them try.
Let them help.
Let them feel proud of something small.
Let them feel like themselves for just a moment more.

Because independence, even in tiny doses, is a form of love too. And, we owe them that.

Caregiver Hack of the Week

Create a “Do-It-Yourself” Zone.
Set up a small area with safe, manageable tasks your loved one can do solo — pairing socks, organizing note cards, folding hand towels, watering a plant. It lets them feel useful without setting them up for frustration.