This weekend, my daughter got married — it was a day filled with joy, celebration, and moments we’ll cherish forever. But it was also a day marked by a quiet heartbreak: my mom couldn’t be there.

She was sick with COVID. And while it was the right call to keep her home — to protect her and others — the ache of her absence was real. She’s not just my mom. She’s the family matriarch, a woman who has been the emotional anchor for generations. And missing her granddaughter’s wedding felt… wrong.

Still, life – and love – requires us to adjust. To make space for grief without letting it consume the moment. So I tried my best to include her in the celebration, even if she couldn’t be there in person.

Here’s What I Did:

1. Her corsage still had a place.
   I had her wedding corsage made into a dainty floral arrangement — a physical reminder that she still had a presence at the event, even from afar.
2. A new outfit, just for her.
   She may have been home, but I bought her something new to wear. Something to mark the occasion and help her feel like she was still part of the celebration.
3. I filmed the ceremony.
   Not just a shaky phone video — I made sure she had a full view of the moment. The walk down the aisle, the vows, the joy. She watched it later with tears in her eyes and a big smile on her face .
4. She got the wedding dinner too.
   I brought her a plate full of curated wedding food – even though she didn’t have an appetite – at least she knew we cared.

Other Ways to Include Loved Ones from Afar:

If you find yourself in a similar position — whether due to illness, distance, or mobility challenges — here are a few additional ideas to help make your loved one a part of the day:

• Set up a video call in real time.
  Have someone at the ceremony hold up a phone or tablet so your loved one can be there virtually and see the key moments unfold live. We were out on a ranch, so the signal didn’t support this, but we tried.
• Send them a printed program or invite.
  It may seem small, but having a tactile connection to the day helps them feel included.
• Record personalized messages from guests.
  Ask friends and family to share quick messages or memories that can be compiled into a short video for your loved ones. Proof positive they were thought of.
• Create a keepsake box.
  Include items like a favor, dried flowers, a printed photo, the menu, or a note from the bride and groom and give it to them.
• Host a mini-celebration just for them.
  Later that week, replay the video, share stories, and have dessert together. Let them experience the love that filled the day.

Was it the same as her being there? No.
But it helped. It made her feel seen, remembered, loved — which is, in the end, what we all need most.

No matter how small the gesture may feel, it’s always worth doing.
Inclusion doesn’t have to be perfect — it just has to be intentional.
And that little bit of thought? It makes all the difference.

Caregiver Hack of the Week: Memory-Making for the Moments They Miss

When your loved one can’t be there in person — whether it’s a wedding, graduation, birthday, or holiday — bring the moment to them.

Here’s how:

• Create a “Mini Celebration Kit” with a printed photo, a piece of cake, their favorite drink, and something small but special like a flower, corsage, or party favor.
• Add a personal touch: A handwritten note, a replay of the event video, or even a voice message from the person they missed seeing.
• Schedule a moment to relive it with them — not just a drop-off, but a sit-down, a retelling, a chance to share the joy.

✨ Why it matters: Inclusion isn’t always about presence — it’s about presence of mind. Your effort and creativity tells them, you mattered in this moment. And that reminder is priceless.