• The Gift of a Good Laugh (and a Notebook Full of Joycie-isms)

    July 2, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Last night I was frustrated—tired, overwhelmed, and at my wit’s end. I looked at my mom and asked, “Mom, can you cut me a little slack?”

    She didn’t miss a beat. “Absolutely, honey. I have a whole bunch of slack cut just for you.”

    I couldn’t help it—I laughed. I mean… who says that?!
    There is a lot that she doesn’t remember, but her wit? Still razor-sharp.

    That one-liner sliced straight through the tension and turned a hard moment into a beautiful one. It reminded me how powerful laughter is in this journey. It reminded me who my mom still is.

    She’s quick. She’s kind. She’s honest. Another thing she does when I’m walking the edge with a sassy comment – she taps her foot and reminds me, “You know I had brothers, and toes are fair game.”
    (Yes, I now instinctively tuck my toes away. Because she means it.)

    These hilarious, ridiculous, absolutely unforgettable moments? I’m writing them down. I’ve started a little notebook of Joycie-isms—those phrases and zingers that catch me off guard, make me laugh, or melt me in a second.

    Because as she slowly fades, this humor is gold.
    It masks the hard stuff.
    It lifts us when the fog settles.
    It brings us both back to center.

    Some of the things she says are funny. Some are heartbreakingly sweet. Like, “Honey, you know you’re precious to me because I love you so much.” And that right there? That’s better than anything I could ever ask for.

    So today, I’m encouraging you to find those moments. Write them down. Start a notebook. Record the funny, the frustrating-turned-funny, the tender, and the truth bombs. Because these little snippets are going to matter. They’re going to hold you when this season is over. They’re going to be part of the story you carry forward.

    Caregiver Hack of the Week:

    Create a “Memory & Moment” journal.
    If your loved one is still chatty or witty, jot down their quips, kindness, and conversations. If they’re in later stages, collect your own reflections. Stick in photos. Drawings. Descriptions of a touch, a scent, a smile. These become treasures.

    Even just a few lines a week will one day become your favorite heirloom. A time capsule of love, laughter, and the strength it took to show up every single day. You’ve got this!!

    This time of life? It’s not forever.
    But it can still be loved.
    So laugh until you cry—and cry when you need to.
    And let both be sacred.

    You’re not alone on this track.
    We’re all riding it together. See you next time!

    Choo Choo!

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  • Let Them Help: The Healing Power of Feeling Needed

    June 27, 2025
    Uncategorized

    I sprained my ankle the other day—badly enough to make walking painful (and illegal according to my doctor) and patience thinner than usual. As I was hobbling around, my sweet momma looked at me with the softest eyes and asked, “What can I do to help you?”

    I smiled and said the usual: “Oh, nothing, Mom. I’ve got it.”
    But she wasn’t having that.

    “I could rub your foot with Arnica,” she said gently.
    And in that moment, I let her in. I was hurting, and frankly, tired of always being strong. She melted my resolve.

    She sat beside me, her hands still soft and sure, and gently rubbed that foot like she’d done it a thousand times before—for scraped knees, twisted toes, and a tired daughter who always needed something. I swear she helped heal it with the calm and care only a mother can offer. Her touch is magic.

    Each day, she helped me wrap it. She brought me water. She asked if I needed anything. And one day she said, “I just love getting to help you.”

    That stopped me in my tracks.

    You see, we caregivers often take on every single thing. We do the lifting, the sorting, the cooking, the reminding, the everything. And in our whirlwind of doing, we forget: our loved ones still want to feel useful.

    They want to feel needed.
    They want to contribute.
    They want to help the people they love—just like they always have.

    Why Letting Them Help Matters

    When we allow our loved ones to participate in small, meaningful ways, we give them something powerful: a sense of purpose.

    Even as memory fades or physical ability changes, the desire to give doesn’t go away. Helping boosts their confidence, gives their brain something to focus on, and keeps the relationship reciprocal—not just caregiving, but care-sharing.

    It reminds them that they’re still capable.
    It affirms their dignity.
    It tells them loud and clear:
    You matter.
    You are not a burden.
    You are still my rock, my parent, my guide.

    Ways to Let Your Loved One Help

    Even if they can’t do what they once did, there’s almost always something they can do. Here are just a few ideas:

    • Folding laundry (even if you have to refold it later—it’s the doing that counts)
    • Wiping down surfaces with a soft cloth
    • Tearing lettuce or stirring soup
    • Watering plants or feeding a pet
    • Helping wrap your ankle when you’ve overdone it… again
    • Reading aloud a short devotional or offering a daily prayer
    • Helping you remember something—like a name, a story, or just what day it is
    • Bringing you a glass of water and feeling like a hero

    It doesn’t need to be perfect or productive.
    It just needs to be shared.

    Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Create a “Helper Basket.”
    Stock it with safe, simple items they can use anytime they want to help: a cloth for dusting, a crossword puzzle, some socks to match, or greeting cards to organize. Giving them a “job” reminds them they’re not just being cared for—they still have something to offer.

    Final Thought

    No one will ever love me the way my mother does.
    And in that quiet moment, as she gently rubbed my swollen and black and blue ankle and foot, and looked up at me with pride in her heart, I realized something…

    Sometimes we don’t need to do more.
    We just need to let them in.
    And maybe, just maybe, that helps both of us heal through this very tough journey.

    I’m not crying (yes, I am) you are! See you at the next stop!

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  • Etched in the Spirit: Her Faith Remains

    June 21, 2025
    Uncategorized

    It’s been a week of Mondays, and I missed posting on Tuesday, but I have something that is sitting on my heart to share and worth being late.

    To be real, mom has seemed more confused lately, and I can tell that her cognitive decline is worsening. She is ever so sweet – and always smiling, and not only do I adore that, but she reminds me that living her faith is the most important thing in her life. She is not just happy – but she has captured how to be joyful even in the tough times, and being 93 and trying to exist in this world is not on the list of easy…BUT…

    She may not remember what she had for breakfast, or what she did yesterday. She may struggle to find the right words or get lost in the timeline of a simple story.

    But ask her about church, and her eyes light up. Because she knows. She remembers. She FEELS. Every Sunday, she is wobbly and off balance, but off she goes with a smile, her beautiful eyes sparkling and excited to see everyone.

    She remembers her pastor, Tony Borton, and she loves Charles Stanley, Joyce Meyers, Billy Graham, and more. She remembers the old hymns—every verse, every chorus – and she loves them. She reads her Bible faithfully, and recognizes the faces of her church family like they’re stitched into the fabric of her soul – because they are.

    Church isn’t just a routine for her. It’s her sanctuary. It’s her safe place. It’s her reminder that she is held—by God, by community, and by something greater than what this disease can touch.

    We read devotions together almost every day. And every day, without fail, she prays for the children of the church—by name. Not because someone tells her to, but because her spirit still remembers the rhythm of intercession.

    Her body is slower now. Her mind, tangled in fog some days.
    But her faith? It’s sharp. Steady. Unshaken.
    It is her anchor in the storm of confusion.

    Let Them Hold What Comforts Them

    We spend so much time as caregivers focused on what’s been lost.
    But let’s not forget what remains.

    Your loved one might not remember the year or what day it is…
    But they may still hum a favorite hymn.
    They may still whisper prayers.
    They may still light up when they hear the familiar cadence of a Sunday morning sermon.

    Let them hold on to those things – whatever they are…
    Let them rest in what brings comfort.
    Because dementia can take the dates.
    It can muddle the memories.
    It can confuse the order of a day.

    But it cannot take what’s etched into the spirit.
    And for my mom, her faith is carved deep. Let them live there and rest.

    Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Make space for soul memory.
    Even when cognitive memory falters, spiritual and emotional memory often stays.

    Create a quiet space for your loved one to connect with what grounds them—daily prayer, a devotional, a favorite hymn, or even a recorded sermon. No theology degree needed—just love and repetition. Its one of the greatest acts of love we can show them.

    Thanks for letting me share this oh so personal topic with you. See you next week! Choo choo!

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  • Groceries Without the Chaos: Why Pickup & Delivery Are a Caregiver’s Best Friend

    June 10, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Let’s play a game called “How Fast Can a Caregiver Grocery Shop?”

    Option A: Drag yourself (and possibly your loved one) to the store, wrestle a shopping cart that only turns left, dodge screaming toddlers, hunt for items that were definitely there last week, and stand in line behind someone paying in pennies while your phone buzzes with five missed calls.

    Option B: Click a few buttons, schedule a pickup or delivery, and reclaim at least an hour of your life – while taking your LO on

    If you picked Option A, congratulations! You enjoy unnecessary suffering. If you picked Option B, welcome to the magical world of grocery pickup and delivery—one of our caregiver ultimate life hacks.

    Why Grocery Pickup & Delivery is a Total Game-Changer

    Being a caregiver means that every spare second is precious. Between doctor appointments, medication schedules, and the never-ending to-do list, there’s never enough time in the day. So why spend it wandering grocery aisles in a half-zombie state when you could be doing literally anything else?

    More Time, Less Stress

    • An entire grocery run now takes 5 minutes instead of 90. That’s 85 extra minutes for yourself (or at least to sit down and drink hot coffee for once).
    • No more standing in checkout lines while your loved one asks, “What’s taking so long?” every 30 seconds.
    • No more impulse buys because you wandered past the cookie aisle in a moment of weakness. (Okay, maybe one box of cookies makes it in. We’re only human.)

    Fewer Germs, More Health

    • Flu season? Cold season? Stomach bug season? Skip the petri dish aka the grocery store during cold and flu season.
    • Your immune system is already working overtime—why risk exposure when you don’t have to?
    • Less time in public = less risk of bringing home germs to a vulnerable loved one.

    No More ‘Oops, I Forgot Something’ Trips

    • Ever gone grocery shopping, got home, and realized you forgot the ONE thing you actually needed?
    • With online shopping, you can double-check the fridge and pantry in real time before clicking “checkout.”
    • Bonus: Most apps let you add to your order after checkout in case you remember something an hour later (hello, more coffee and snacks).

    Less Hauling Heavy Bags

    • If your back already hurts from caregiving, the last thing you need is hauling 50 pounds of groceries from the store to the car, to the house, up the stairs…
    • Delivery = they bring it to your door.
    • Pickup = the nice store employee loads it into your car while you sit there like royalty (Remember to thank them profusely (or tip) – ’cause THEY are the real royalty for helping.)

    How to Master Grocery Pickup & Delivery Like a Pro

    Step 1: Choose Your Grocery Store’s App or Website
    Most major stores have pickup & delivery services now! Some great options include:
    ✔ Locally: Thrifty Foods Grocery Pickup & Delivery
    ✔ Instacart ( if you have it – delivers from multiple stores)
    ✔ Kroger, Safeway, Publix, and other chain-specific apps also do pick up
    ✔ Amazon Fresh & Whole Foods delivery (in larger cities)

    Step 2: Make Your List in Advance

    • Keep a running list on your phone throughout the week. That way, when you go to order, you’re not guessing what you need.
    • Most apps save your past purchases, so reordering staples is easy!

    Step 3: Plan Your Pickup or Delivery Time

    • Try scheduling early in the morning or later in the evening for the best availability.
    • Some services offer same-day or even 2-hour delivery if you’re in a pinch – it depends on where you live.

    Step 4: Save Money (Yes, Really!)

    • Compare prices between stores—some apps show price differences across multiple places.
    • Look for digital coupons right in the app—no clipping required!
    • Avoid the “I just came for one thing temptation” (because let’s be honest, when you’re not in the store, those end cap sales don’t tempt you as much).

    What to Do With Your Extra Time (Instead of Grocery Shopping Like a Lunatic)

    ~Watch half a movie before being interrupted. (Caregiver reality: Full movies are a luxury.)

    ~Take an actual shower with actual hot water.

    ~Call a friend and have a real conversation.

    ~Read a book that isn’t about medical conditions.

    ~Go for a walk just because you can.

    ~Stare at a wall in silence for five minutes and just breathe. (Seriously, it’s underrated.)

    Caregiver Hack of the Week:

    “The Backup Emergency Order” – Create a saved grocery list in your app of must-have essentials (milk, bread, coffee, favorite snacks, easy meals). When life gets crazy, you can reorder in seconds without having to think about what you need!

    Final Thought: You Deserve This Break

    Caregiving is hard enough without wasting hours wandering a grocery store, dodging germ-covered shopping carts, and hauling heavy bags. Technology has given us a gift—USE IT.

    So the next time you’re debating whether to brave the store or order online from the comfort of your sweatpants, just remember:

    ✔ Less stress.
    ✔ More time.
    ✔ Fewer germs.

    And if anyone gives you side-eye for choosing convenience? Just smile and say, “I’m a caregiver. This is self-care.” Then go enjoy that extra hour of freedom. See you at the next stop! Choo choo!!

    Your turn! Do you use grocery pickup or delivery? What’s your favorite time-saving trick? Drop your thoughts in the comments—we caregivers need all the hacks we can get!

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  • Lost in Translation: When Dementia Scrambles the Message

    June 3, 2025
    Uncategorized

    “She didn’t hear me.”
    “She’s not listening.”
    “I just told her that.”
    “Why is she staring at me like I just asked her to solve quantum physics?    ”

    Sound familiar?

    When you love someone living with dementia or cognitive decline, there comes a point when you realize—this isn’t about hearing.
    It’s not about attention.
    It’s not even about memory.

    It’s about processing.

    So… What Is “Processing”?

    Think of the brain like a giant switchboard.
    When it’s working well, you say something like, “Hey Mom, it’s time for lunch,” and her brain receives, decodes, and understands that sentence.
    She thinks: “Okay, lunch. It’s around noon. I’m probably hungry. Time to go eat.” (Or like my mom – she eats by the clock – I should probably eat something because it’s noon.)

    But when dementia enters the picture?
    That switchboard crosses some of the wires or they burn out.

    Instead of that message going from your mouth to her understanding, it might:

    • Get delayed
    • Get jumbled
    • Lose key details
    • Or vanish completely

    She might nod.
    She might stare at you.
    She might say “okay” and then wander into the hall closet.

    Processing is the brain’s ability to take in, interpret, and act on information.
    When dementia affects this part of the brain, it’s like watching a file try to download over dial-up.
    Slow. Unreliable. Sometimes just… nothing.

    It happens to all of us sometimes. Have you ever walked into a room and completely forgotten what you went to find? Kinda similar…it’s jarring and it bothers us. It bothers our loved ones too. Deeply bothers them.

    Why Does It Happen?

    Many forms of dementia—Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia, Lewy body, frontotemporal—impact the brain’s communication networks.
    These diseases damage the neurons and pathways that carry information. Think of it like potholes forming on a busy highway. Messages slow down. Some never make it.

    So when your loved one doesn’t respond right away—or at all—it’s not willful.

    It’s not disrespect.
    It’s not stubbornness.

    It’s broken wiring – and it’s heartbreaking. My dad explained it to me one day as tears rolled down his face. I told him “We all forget things.” He responded, “This is different. Let’s go home, and try again tomorrow.” We cried, together.

    Hearing the same sentence for the third, fourth, or tenth time can be challenging. Understanding why it happens will be the only thing that keeps you sane and calm. It’s tiring, but it’s not their fault – and it’s frustrating for our loved ones, too.

    So What Can You Do?

    Here’s what I try to remember:

    • Give time. It might take 10–20 seconds (yes, seconds!) for them to process what you just said. Wait before repeating.
    • Simplify. One idea per sentence. Short. Clear. Kind.
    • Use visual cues. Point to the lunch table. Hand them the spoon. Guide, gently.
    • Repeat without frustration. (Okay, at least try.) Repetition isn’t failure. It’s caregiving.
    • Breathe. Walk away for a second. Cry in the bathroom. Text your best friend. Then try again.

    Final Thought

    This piece is not easy.
    It’s not fair.
    And it’s definitely not how we pictured old age for our loved ones.

    But the more we understand how our loved one’s brains are working, the less personal it feels.
    The confusion isn’t on purpose.
    It’s the disease.

    And in those moments of silence, confusion, or blank stares, I remind myself:
    Her heart still knows me.
    Her soul still feels love.
    Even if her brain doesn’t always translate it.

    🚂 Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Use “one-and-done” sentences.
    Instead of saying, “Okay Mom, let’s get your shoes on so we can head to the doctor and then stop for lunch,”
    try:

    “Let’s put on your shoes.”
    (wait)
    “We’re going to the doctor.”
    (wait)
    “Then we’ll get lunch.”

    Spacing your words out gives their brain a better chance to follow along. And trust me—it makes your day easier, too. It will help.

    See you next week for a new adventure on the Silver Haired Choo Choo….All ABOARD!

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  • “Fighting for Who They Were (and Loving Who They Are)”

    May 27, 2025
    Uncategorized

    A story for every caregiver caught between memory and reality.

    There’s this part of caregiving that no one prepares you for.
    It’s the fight for identity — not your own, but theirs. You remember the sharp, strong, independent person. You remember the brilliance. The wit. The grit. You remember the woman who used to beat you on the calculator doing sums — because she was that sharp. She was the woman who ran a successful business. Stayed active in church. Who had straight A’s in college. She was one of eleven children – she had the patience of a saint and a backbone made of steel. And now?

    Now there’s hesitation. Confusion. Sometimes frustration. Sometimes anger. And an aching embarrassment that her mind doesn’t work the way she knows it used to. The way she believes it still should. It makes her cry, and I hate that.

    The War Inside

    I spent the first three years of caregiving screaming in my brain.

    “Why can’t she remember? It’s obvious.”
    “Why can’t she do it? She always has.”
    “Why doesn’t she know it? She taught me.”

    And there was a part of me — a grieving part — that refused to believe this was the disease. Because if I accepted that, it meant letting go of who she was. And I wasn’t ready – I’m still not ready.

    But I’m learning – and that’s a start. This disease — dementia, Alzheimer’s, cognitive decline, however you want to label it — it doesn’t care who you are. It doesn’t care about your career or your GPA or your parenting medals. It can touch anyone. And when it does, it doesn’t just change the person who’s diagnosed —it reshapes every relationship around them. It is relentless. And they know it too.

    The Long Goodbye

    There’s a quiet heartbreak in realizing your loved one is fading in pieces. You start to lose them long before they’re gone.
    And maybe they know it too. There’s a flicker of awareness in their eyes — and it’s that that breaks you most.

    The way forward, I’ve learned, is this:

    You love them right where they are.
    Not where they were.
    Not where you wish they still could be.
    Right. Where. They. Are.

    Some days I do that well. Other days I crash and burn and find myself shouting, “But you taught me! I don’t understand!”

    But then, I pick myself up.
    I cry. I pray. And I try again.

    How to Meet Them Where They Are

    Here are a few things I’ve learned that help. Not because I’m perfect, but because I’ve messed up enough to know what doesn’t work.

    1. Agree, Don’t Correct

    If they say it’s 1994, let it be. (I utterly suck at this – just keeping it real.) If they ask when their (long-deceased) sister is coming to visit, smile and say, “I bet she’d love to see you.” Correcting them only brings confusion or pain. Meeting them in their reality brings peace.

    2. Let Them Lead

    If they want to fold the same towel five times, let them. If they want to walk the same hallway over and over, walk with them. You’re not losing time — you’re sharing it.

    3. Use Music and Photos

    Familiar songs and old family photos can pull out memories in ways conversation can’t. Play their favorite tunes. Show them pictures of people they love. They may not name them—but they feel them.

    4. Simplify the Environment

    Too much noise or clutter can be overwhelming. Create calm spaces. Label drawers. Use visual cues. Give them a world that feels easier to understand.

    5. Preserve Dignity

    Don’t talk about them like they’re not there. (I do this sometimes too).
    Don’t baby them. Speak with respect — always. (sometimes my impatience gets the better of me). This is still your mother, your father, your spouse — just in a different chapter.

    6. Give Grace

    To them. To yourself.
    There will be bad days. Emotional days.
    There will be days you snap. Or cry. Or question everything.
    And that’s okay.
    You’re not failing. You’re feeling. That means you’re still in the fight.

    Their mind may forget the moment, but their heart remembers the feeling. So fight for their identity. Tell their stories. Hold tight to who they were. But don’t forget to love who they are — right here, right now.

    Because they are still yours. And you are still theirs – and they need you more than you know.

    Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Create a “Daily Joy List.”
    It can be super simple:

    • A soft blanket
    • Their favorite snack
    • Their favorite hymn or radio station
    • A stuffed animal, a pet, or a photo book

    Keep these go-to comforts handy and rotate them in when the day gets hard. You might not be able to fix the memory loss—but you can fill the moment with something good.

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  • A Golden Moment Morning

    May 23, 2025
    Uncategorized

    This morning, we (mom and I) had coffee and tea—like we always do.
    But today… I had my mom. All of her.

    She was present.
    We chatted, laughed, shared scripture, caught up on little things.
    We talked—really talked.
    And for a little while, it felt like time rewound and gave me a gift.

    It was just coffee and tea.
    But it was everything.

    If you’re a caregiver, you know that moments like these are rare.
    When they are arrive, you stop, no matter what you are doing.
    Drop everything.
    Soak it in.
    Let the moment fill the cracks that the hard days make.

    That one morning?
    That one cup of coffee?
    It was like a week-long vacation for my heart.

    This afternoon was different. Harder. But this morning was golden – and I’m basking in it.

    And that’s enough to carry me a little further down the track.

    Wishing you all a great weekend and some golden moments that you can bask in also.

    Wishing you all a golden moment with your loved ones, too.

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  • $Money Talk$: Navigating Your Loved One’s Finances with Integrity and Compassion

    May 21, 2025
    Uncategorized

    It’s another day, and there is never a dull moment in the life of caregiving! Let’s talk about money. It’s always a “fun” topic.

    Managing finances can be challenging for anyone, but for our aging loved ones, especially those experiencing cognitive decline, it becomes increasingly complex and confusing. As family caregivers, it’s essential to approach this role with integrity, transparency, and a deep respect for their autonomy.​

    Understanding the Changing Financial Landscape

    In today’s digital age, the way we handle money has transformed dramatically. Online banking, automatic bill payments, and digital transactions are the norm. For seniors who didn’t grow up with this technology, it can be overwhelming. Coupled with cognitive challenges, managing finances can become a source of anxiety and confusion.​ Add to it that customer service centers are not equipped (most of them) to deal with elderly clients that don’t understand today’s money system. In fact, some are just not equipped period – for anything – but that’s for the another blog series.

    It’s also crucial to recognize that difficulties in managing money can be one of the early signs of cognitive impairment. According to the National Institute on Aging, individuals with dementia may struggle with tasks like paying bills, understanding bank statements, or recognizing financial scams. They are vulnerable, and that’s why they are targeted so often.

    Initiating the Conversation: Respect and Reassurance

    Approaching the topic of financial assistance requires sensitivity. It’s not just about numbers; it’s about independence, trust, and dignity. Here are some steps to guide the conversation:​

    • Choose the Right Moment: Find a calm, private setting to discuss financial matters without distractions.​
    • Express Your Intentions: Clearly communicate that your goal is to support and protect, not to control.​
    • Emphasize Collaboration: Frame the discussion as a partnership, ensuring they feel involved in decisions.​
    • Listen Actively: Allow them to voice concerns, fears, or preferences.​

    Remember, the objective is to provide reassurance that they remain in control, with your assistance serving as a safety net.​ THIS IS HUGE!!!!

    Establishing Clear Agreements

    To ensure transparency and protect both parties:​

    • Document Agreements: Put financial arrangements in writing, detailing responsibilities and permissions.​
    • Legalize Authority: Consider setting up a durable power of attorney, allowing you to make financial decisions on their behalf if necessary .​
    • Involve a Neutral Third Party: Having documents notarized or involving a legal professional can add an extra layer of security and clarity.​

    It’s imperative to understand that having access to someone’s finances is a position of trust, not an opportunity for personal gain. Misusing this trust is not only unethical but also illegal.​

    Recognizing and Preventing Financial Abuse

    Financial exploitation is a serious concern. Signs include sudden changes in financial documents, unexplained withdrawals, or new “friends” influencing financial decisions. If you suspect abuse:

    • Report Immediately: Contact Adult Protective Services or local law enforcement.​
    • Seek Support: Organizations like the National Adult Protective Services Association offer resources and guidance.​
    • Educate Yourself and Others: Understanding the signs of financial abuse can help prevent it.​

    Remember, protecting our loved ones includes safeguarding them from potential exploitation.​

    Maintaining Dignity and Independence

    So let’s look at the emotional side of this topic. Letting go of financial control can feel like a loss of independence to our loved ones. To ease this transition:​

    • Involve Them in Decisions: Even if you’re handling the logistics, keep them informed and involved.​
    • Simplify Finances: Consolidate accounts, set up automatic payments, and reduce unnecessary financial complexities.​
    • Regular Check-Ins: Schedule periodic reviews of financial matters together, reinforcing trust and collaboration.​

    By approaching financial caregiving with empathy, transparency, and respect, we not only protect our loved ones’ assets but also honor their dignity and autonomy. If we don’t protect our loved ones, who is going to?​

    Caregiver Hack of the Week:

    To ensure your loved one’s financial safety, consider setting up “view-only” access to their bank and credit accounts. This allows you to monitor transactions for any unusual activity without having the ability to move funds yourself. It’s a proactive way to catch potential issues early and provides peace of mind for both of you.​ It’s not going to help with the scammers, but it’s a start.

    Additionally, services like EverSafe offer monitoring tools that can alert you to signs of fraud or financial abuse. Remember, transparency is key—discuss these steps with your loved one to maintain trust and collaboration.

    Good luck and we will see you at the next stop! All aboard!

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  • Wearing All the Hats (and None of Them Fit): The Many Roles of a Caregiver

    May 13, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Being a full-time, in-home caregiver is a bit like starring in your own one-person show. Except there’s no script, no intermission, and the audience might throw apples (or worse). One minute you’re a nurse, the next you’re a short-order cook, then a personal assistant, therapist, tech support, housekeeper, and occasional magician. It is never ending.

    And let’s be honest… not one of those roles comes with a paycheck, benefits, or even a decent break room. (Unless you count the bathroom, where you hide for five sacred minutes with a protein bar.)

    Nurse (But Without the Degree)

    You’ve mastered medication schedules better than some pharmacists. You know the difference between a good blood pressure reading and a “we need to go now” reading. You’ve learned how to decipher what “my leg feels buzzy” actually means. And you’ve done it all while trying to keep your loved one calm—and yourself from Googling symptoms at 2 a.m.

    Chef (Who Takes Requests But Gets Complaints)

    Some days you’re creating gourmet soft-food meals. Other days, you’re just trying to make toast without setting off the smoke detector. You’ll hear things like, “This tastes funny,” even though it’s the exact same meal they asked for yesterday. Culinary excellence? Optional. Thick skin? Required.

    Executive Assistant

    You schedule appointments, track paperwork, reorder prescriptions, and manage calendars like a Fortune 500 CEO—except your client thinks it’s 1978 and wonders why you’re always “on that darn computer.”

    Housekeeper (Who Also Chases Dust Bunnies)

    You clean everything. Constantly. Then clean it again because somehow, that same tissue reappears like it’s haunting you. Laundry piles, clutter stacks, and mysterious smells become part of your daily scavenger hunt. And, honestly, they are not that important – leave them once in a while.

    Tech Support

    You’ve rebooted the TV remote more times than you can count. You’ve explained the difference between a text and a voicemail. And if one more button disappears from the phone screen, you might just throw it in the toaster.

    Therapist (Without the Couch)

    You listen to fears, regrets, memories, and confusion. You try to ease worries you can’t fix. You become the safe place for tears, venting, and occasional misplaced frustration. And even when your own emotional tank is running on fumes, you keep showing up.

    Magician

    Because sometimes, you pull peace out of chaos. You conjure patience when there’s none left. You make laughter out of tears. And you perform the greatest disappearing act of all—your needs vanish to make room for theirs.

    But Here’s the Thing…

    Yes, caregiving is exhausting. It’s heavy, relentless, and often invisible. But it’s also filled with profound moments of connection. There’s a kind of sacredness to being the one constant in someone’s unraveling world.

    And despite the exhaustion, the absurdity, and the very real moments when you want to scream into a pillow—you stay. You love. You show up again and again.

    Because underneath all those hats is a heart that refuses to give up.

    Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Stop trying to wear all the hats all the time.
    Pick one or two roles to truly focus on each day, and delegate the rest when you can. Can a friend drop off a meal? Let them. Can your sibling call and handle a bill? Ask them. You’re not failing—you’re managing. And that, my friend, is the real magic trick. Management – not doing it all, all the time.

    All aboard! We’re headed to the next stop of the Silver Haired Choo Choo! It’s spring and there are flowers to plant and the master gardener has made an appearance.

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  • “Still My Mother. Still My Blessing.”

    May 11, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Today, we pause to be a daughter —and honor our mothers.

    Because before we were their caregivers, we were their children.
    And before our mothers needed help remembering, walking, or understanding the world around them, they were the ones teaching us how to live in it.

    They did the best they could—maybe not perfectly—but they showed up, again and again, in the ways that greatly mattered.

    They tied our shoes.
    They made impossible things feel possible.
    They stayed up late to talk or to worry or to pray.
    They packed lunches, dried tears, and clapped for us when we didn’t even know someone was watching.
    They taught us how to be strong.

    How to be kind.

    How to keep going.

    And now, it’s our turn to love them with the same quiet strength.

    Not just because of where they are today, but because of who they’ve always been.

    So today, we say thank you, Mom.
    For everything we remember—and everything you’ve forgotten.
    You are still the woman who shaped our lives.
    You are still worthy of all the honor.
    You are still ours.
    And we will forever be your children – and we will always love you.

    Proverbs 31:28: Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

    Happy Mother’s Day from The Silver Haired Choo Choo

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The Silver Haired ChooChoo

A Caregiver’s Ride Through Chaos, Love, and WTF Moments

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