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  • Groceries Without the Chaos: Why Pickup & Delivery Are a Caregiver’s Best Friend

    June 10, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Let’s play a game called “How Fast Can a Caregiver Grocery Shop?”

    Option A: Drag yourself (and possibly your loved one) to the store, wrestle a shopping cart that only turns left, dodge screaming toddlers, hunt for items that were definitely there last week, and stand in line behind someone paying in pennies while your phone buzzes with five missed calls.

    Option B: Click a few buttons, schedule a pickup or delivery, and reclaim at least an hour of your life – while taking your LO on

    If you picked Option A, congratulations! You enjoy unnecessary suffering. If you picked Option B, welcome to the magical world of grocery pickup and delivery—one of our caregiver ultimate life hacks.

    Why Grocery Pickup & Delivery is a Total Game-Changer

    Being a caregiver means that every spare second is precious. Between doctor appointments, medication schedules, and the never-ending to-do list, there’s never enough time in the day. So why spend it wandering grocery aisles in a half-zombie state when you could be doing literally anything else?

    More Time, Less Stress

    • An entire grocery run now takes 5 minutes instead of 90. That’s 85 extra minutes for yourself (or at least to sit down and drink hot coffee for once).
    • No more standing in checkout lines while your loved one asks, “What’s taking so long?” every 30 seconds.
    • No more impulse buys because you wandered past the cookie aisle in a moment of weakness. (Okay, maybe one box of cookies makes it in. We’re only human.)

    Fewer Germs, More Health

    • Flu season? Cold season? Stomach bug season? Skip the petri dish aka the grocery store during cold and flu season.
    • Your immune system is already working overtime—why risk exposure when you don’t have to?
    • Less time in public = less risk of bringing home germs to a vulnerable loved one.

    No More ‘Oops, I Forgot Something’ Trips

    • Ever gone grocery shopping, got home, and realized you forgot the ONE thing you actually needed?
    • With online shopping, you can double-check the fridge and pantry in real time before clicking “checkout.”
    • Bonus: Most apps let you add to your order after checkout in case you remember something an hour later (hello, more coffee and snacks).

    Less Hauling Heavy Bags

    • If your back already hurts from caregiving, the last thing you need is hauling 50 pounds of groceries from the store to the car, to the house, up the stairs…
    • Delivery = they bring it to your door.
    • Pickup = the nice store employee loads it into your car while you sit there like royalty (Remember to thank them profusely (or tip) – ’cause THEY are the real royalty for helping.)

    How to Master Grocery Pickup & Delivery Like a Pro

    Step 1: Choose Your Grocery Store’s App or Website
    Most major stores have pickup & delivery services now! Some great options include:
    ✔ Locally: Thrifty Foods Grocery Pickup & Delivery
    ✔ Instacart ( if you have it – delivers from multiple stores)
    ✔ Kroger, Safeway, Publix, and other chain-specific apps also do pick up
    ✔ Amazon Fresh & Whole Foods delivery (in larger cities)

    Step 2: Make Your List in Advance

    • Keep a running list on your phone throughout the week. That way, when you go to order, you’re not guessing what you need.
    • Most apps save your past purchases, so reordering staples is easy!

    Step 3: Plan Your Pickup or Delivery Time

    • Try scheduling early in the morning or later in the evening for the best availability.
    • Some services offer same-day or even 2-hour delivery if you’re in a pinch – it depends on where you live.

    Step 4: Save Money (Yes, Really!)

    • Compare prices between stores—some apps show price differences across multiple places.
    • Look for digital coupons right in the app—no clipping required!
    • Avoid the “I just came for one thing temptation” (because let’s be honest, when you’re not in the store, those end cap sales don’t tempt you as much).

    What to Do With Your Extra Time (Instead of Grocery Shopping Like a Lunatic)

    ~Watch half a movie before being interrupted. (Caregiver reality: Full movies are a luxury.)

    ~Take an actual shower with actual hot water.

    ~Call a friend and have a real conversation.

    ~Read a book that isn’t about medical conditions.

    ~Go for a walk just because you can.

    ~Stare at a wall in silence for five minutes and just breathe. (Seriously, it’s underrated.)

    Caregiver Hack of the Week:

    “The Backup Emergency Order” – Create a saved grocery list in your app of must-have essentials (milk, bread, coffee, favorite snacks, easy meals). When life gets crazy, you can reorder in seconds without having to think about what you need!

    Final Thought: You Deserve This Break

    Caregiving is hard enough without wasting hours wandering a grocery store, dodging germ-covered shopping carts, and hauling heavy bags. Technology has given us a gift—USE IT.

    So the next time you’re debating whether to brave the store or order online from the comfort of your sweatpants, just remember:

    ✔ Less stress.
    ✔ More time.
    ✔ Fewer germs.

    And if anyone gives you side-eye for choosing convenience? Just smile and say, “I’m a caregiver. This is self-care.” Then go enjoy that extra hour of freedom. See you at the next stop! Choo choo!!

    Your turn! Do you use grocery pickup or delivery? What’s your favorite time-saving trick? Drop your thoughts in the comments—we caregivers need all the hacks we can get!

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  • Lost in Translation: When Dementia Scrambles the Message

    June 3, 2025
    Uncategorized

    “She didn’t hear me.”
    “She’s not listening.”
    “I just told her that.”
    “Why is she staring at me like I just asked her to solve quantum physics?    ”

    Sound familiar?

    When you love someone living with dementia or cognitive decline, there comes a point when you realize—this isn’t about hearing.
    It’s not about attention.
    It’s not even about memory.

    It’s about processing.

    So… What Is “Processing”?

    Think of the brain like a giant switchboard.
    When it’s working well, you say something like, “Hey Mom, it’s time for lunch,” and her brain receives, decodes, and understands that sentence.
    She thinks: “Okay, lunch. It’s around noon. I’m probably hungry. Time to go eat.” (Or like my mom – she eats by the clock – I should probably eat something because it’s noon.)

    But when dementia enters the picture?
    That switchboard crosses some of the wires or they burn out.

    Instead of that message going from your mouth to her understanding, it might:

    • Get delayed
    • Get jumbled
    • Lose key details
    • Or vanish completely

    She might nod.
    She might stare at you.
    She might say “okay” and then wander into the hall closet.

    Processing is the brain’s ability to take in, interpret, and act on information.
    When dementia affects this part of the brain, it’s like watching a file try to download over dial-up.
    Slow. Unreliable. Sometimes just… nothing.

    It happens to all of us sometimes. Have you ever walked into a room and completely forgotten what you went to find? Kinda similar…it’s jarring and it bothers us. It bothers our loved ones too. Deeply bothers them.

    Why Does It Happen?

    Many forms of dementia—Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia, Lewy body, frontotemporal—impact the brain’s communication networks.
    These diseases damage the neurons and pathways that carry information. Think of it like potholes forming on a busy highway. Messages slow down. Some never make it.

    So when your loved one doesn’t respond right away—or at all—it’s not willful.

    It’s not disrespect.
    It’s not stubbornness.

    It’s broken wiring – and it’s heartbreaking. My dad explained it to me one day as tears rolled down his face. I told him “We all forget things.” He responded, “This is different. Let’s go home, and try again tomorrow.” We cried, together.

    Hearing the same sentence for the third, fourth, or tenth time can be challenging. Understanding why it happens will be the only thing that keeps you sane and calm. It’s tiring, but it’s not their fault – and it’s frustrating for our loved ones, too.

    So What Can You Do?

    Here’s what I try to remember:

    • Give time. It might take 10–20 seconds (yes, seconds!) for them to process what you just said. Wait before repeating.
    • Simplify. One idea per sentence. Short. Clear. Kind.
    • Use visual cues. Point to the lunch table. Hand them the spoon. Guide, gently.
    • Repeat without frustration. (Okay, at least try.) Repetition isn’t failure. It’s caregiving.
    • Breathe. Walk away for a second. Cry in the bathroom. Text your best friend. Then try again.

    Final Thought

    This piece is not easy.
    It’s not fair.
    And it’s definitely not how we pictured old age for our loved ones.

    But the more we understand how our loved one’s brains are working, the less personal it feels.
    The confusion isn’t on purpose.
    It’s the disease.

    And in those moments of silence, confusion, or blank stares, I remind myself:
    Her heart still knows me.
    Her soul still feels love.
    Even if her brain doesn’t always translate it.

    🚂 Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Use “one-and-done” sentences.
    Instead of saying, “Okay Mom, let’s get your shoes on so we can head to the doctor and then stop for lunch,”
    try:

    “Let’s put on your shoes.”
    (wait)
    “We’re going to the doctor.”
    (wait)
    “Then we’ll get lunch.”

    Spacing your words out gives their brain a better chance to follow along. And trust me—it makes your day easier, too. It will help.

    See you next week for a new adventure on the Silver Haired Choo Choo….All ABOARD!

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  • “Fighting for Who They Were (and Loving Who They Are)”

    May 27, 2025
    Uncategorized

    A story for every caregiver caught between memory and reality.

    There’s this part of caregiving that no one prepares you for.
    It’s the fight for identity — not your own, but theirs. You remember the sharp, strong, independent person. You remember the brilliance. The wit. The grit. You remember the woman who used to beat you on the calculator doing sums — because she was that sharp. She was the woman who ran a successful business. Stayed active in church. Who had straight A’s in college. She was one of eleven children – she had the patience of a saint and a backbone made of steel. And now?

    Now there’s hesitation. Confusion. Sometimes frustration. Sometimes anger. And an aching embarrassment that her mind doesn’t work the way she knows it used to. The way she believes it still should. It makes her cry, and I hate that.

    The War Inside

    I spent the first three years of caregiving screaming in my brain.

    “Why can’t she remember? It’s obvious.”
    “Why can’t she do it? She always has.”
    “Why doesn’t she know it? She taught me.”

    And there was a part of me — a grieving part — that refused to believe this was the disease. Because if I accepted that, it meant letting go of who she was. And I wasn’t ready – I’m still not ready.

    But I’m learning – and that’s a start. This disease — dementia, Alzheimer’s, cognitive decline, however you want to label it — it doesn’t care who you are. It doesn’t care about your career or your GPA or your parenting medals. It can touch anyone. And when it does, it doesn’t just change the person who’s diagnosed —it reshapes every relationship around them. It is relentless. And they know it too.

    The Long Goodbye

    There’s a quiet heartbreak in realizing your loved one is fading in pieces. You start to lose them long before they’re gone.
    And maybe they know it too. There’s a flicker of awareness in their eyes — and it’s that that breaks you most.

    The way forward, I’ve learned, is this:

    You love them right where they are.
    Not where they were.
    Not where you wish they still could be.
    Right. Where. They. Are.

    Some days I do that well. Other days I crash and burn and find myself shouting, “But you taught me! I don’t understand!”

    But then, I pick myself up.
    I cry. I pray. And I try again.

    How to Meet Them Where They Are

    Here are a few things I’ve learned that help. Not because I’m perfect, but because I’ve messed up enough to know what doesn’t work.

    1. Agree, Don’t Correct

    If they say it’s 1994, let it be. (I utterly suck at this – just keeping it real.) If they ask when their (long-deceased) sister is coming to visit, smile and say, “I bet she’d love to see you.” Correcting them only brings confusion or pain. Meeting them in their reality brings peace.

    2. Let Them Lead

    If they want to fold the same towel five times, let them. If they want to walk the same hallway over and over, walk with them. You’re not losing time — you’re sharing it.

    3. Use Music and Photos

    Familiar songs and old family photos can pull out memories in ways conversation can’t. Play their favorite tunes. Show them pictures of people they love. They may not name them—but they feel them.

    4. Simplify the Environment

    Too much noise or clutter can be overwhelming. Create calm spaces. Label drawers. Use visual cues. Give them a world that feels easier to understand.

    5. Preserve Dignity

    Don’t talk about them like they’re not there. (I do this sometimes too).
    Don’t baby them. Speak with respect — always. (sometimes my impatience gets the better of me). This is still your mother, your father, your spouse — just in a different chapter.

    6. Give Grace

    To them. To yourself.
    There will be bad days. Emotional days.
    There will be days you snap. Or cry. Or question everything.
    And that’s okay.
    You’re not failing. You’re feeling. That means you’re still in the fight.

    Their mind may forget the moment, but their heart remembers the feeling. So fight for their identity. Tell their stories. Hold tight to who they were. But don’t forget to love who they are — right here, right now.

    Because they are still yours. And you are still theirs – and they need you more than you know.

    Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Create a “Daily Joy List.”
    It can be super simple:

    • A soft blanket
    • Their favorite snack
    • Their favorite hymn or radio station
    • A stuffed animal, a pet, or a photo book

    Keep these go-to comforts handy and rotate them in when the day gets hard. You might not be able to fix the memory loss—but you can fill the moment with something good.

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  • A Golden Moment Morning

    May 23, 2025
    Uncategorized

    This morning, we (mom and I) had coffee and tea—like we always do.
    But today… I had my mom. All of her.

    She was present.
    We chatted, laughed, shared scripture, caught up on little things.
    We talked—really talked.
    And for a little while, it felt like time rewound and gave me a gift.

    It was just coffee and tea.
    But it was everything.

    If you’re a caregiver, you know that moments like these are rare.
    When they are arrive, you stop, no matter what you are doing.
    Drop everything.
    Soak it in.
    Let the moment fill the cracks that the hard days make.

    That one morning?
    That one cup of coffee?
    It was like a week-long vacation for my heart.

    This afternoon was different. Harder. But this morning was golden – and I’m basking in it.

    And that’s enough to carry me a little further down the track.

    Wishing you all a great weekend and some golden moments that you can bask in also.

    Wishing you all a golden moment with your loved ones, too.

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  • $Money Talk$: Navigating Your Loved One’s Finances with Integrity and Compassion

    May 21, 2025
    Uncategorized

    It’s another day, and there is never a dull moment in the life of caregiving! Let’s talk about money. It’s always a “fun” topic.

    Managing finances can be challenging for anyone, but for our aging loved ones, especially those experiencing cognitive decline, it becomes increasingly complex and confusing. As family caregivers, it’s essential to approach this role with integrity, transparency, and a deep respect for their autonomy.​

    Understanding the Changing Financial Landscape

    In today’s digital age, the way we handle money has transformed dramatically. Online banking, automatic bill payments, and digital transactions are the norm. For seniors who didn’t grow up with this technology, it can be overwhelming. Coupled with cognitive challenges, managing finances can become a source of anxiety and confusion.​ Add to it that customer service centers are not equipped (most of them) to deal with elderly clients that don’t understand today’s money system. In fact, some are just not equipped period – for anything – but that’s for the another blog series.

    It’s also crucial to recognize that difficulties in managing money can be one of the early signs of cognitive impairment. According to the National Institute on Aging, individuals with dementia may struggle with tasks like paying bills, understanding bank statements, or recognizing financial scams. They are vulnerable, and that’s why they are targeted so often.

    Initiating the Conversation: Respect and Reassurance

    Approaching the topic of financial assistance requires sensitivity. It’s not just about numbers; it’s about independence, trust, and dignity. Here are some steps to guide the conversation:​

    • Choose the Right Moment: Find a calm, private setting to discuss financial matters without distractions.​
    • Express Your Intentions: Clearly communicate that your goal is to support and protect, not to control.​
    • Emphasize Collaboration: Frame the discussion as a partnership, ensuring they feel involved in decisions.​
    • Listen Actively: Allow them to voice concerns, fears, or preferences.​

    Remember, the objective is to provide reassurance that they remain in control, with your assistance serving as a safety net.​ THIS IS HUGE!!!!

    Establishing Clear Agreements

    To ensure transparency and protect both parties:​

    • Document Agreements: Put financial arrangements in writing, detailing responsibilities and permissions.​
    • Legalize Authority: Consider setting up a durable power of attorney, allowing you to make financial decisions on their behalf if necessary .​
    • Involve a Neutral Third Party: Having documents notarized or involving a legal professional can add an extra layer of security and clarity.​

    It’s imperative to understand that having access to someone’s finances is a position of trust, not an opportunity for personal gain. Misusing this trust is not only unethical but also illegal.​

    Recognizing and Preventing Financial Abuse

    Financial exploitation is a serious concern. Signs include sudden changes in financial documents, unexplained withdrawals, or new “friends” influencing financial decisions. If you suspect abuse:

    • Report Immediately: Contact Adult Protective Services or local law enforcement.​
    • Seek Support: Organizations like the National Adult Protective Services Association offer resources and guidance.​
    • Educate Yourself and Others: Understanding the signs of financial abuse can help prevent it.​

    Remember, protecting our loved ones includes safeguarding them from potential exploitation.​

    Maintaining Dignity and Independence

    So let’s look at the emotional side of this topic. Letting go of financial control can feel like a loss of independence to our loved ones. To ease this transition:​

    • Involve Them in Decisions: Even if you’re handling the logistics, keep them informed and involved.​
    • Simplify Finances: Consolidate accounts, set up automatic payments, and reduce unnecessary financial complexities.​
    • Regular Check-Ins: Schedule periodic reviews of financial matters together, reinforcing trust and collaboration.​

    By approaching financial caregiving with empathy, transparency, and respect, we not only protect our loved ones’ assets but also honor their dignity and autonomy. If we don’t protect our loved ones, who is going to?​

    Caregiver Hack of the Week:

    To ensure your loved one’s financial safety, consider setting up “view-only” access to their bank and credit accounts. This allows you to monitor transactions for any unusual activity without having the ability to move funds yourself. It’s a proactive way to catch potential issues early and provides peace of mind for both of you.​ It’s not going to help with the scammers, but it’s a start.

    Additionally, services like EverSafe offer monitoring tools that can alert you to signs of fraud or financial abuse. Remember, transparency is key—discuss these steps with your loved one to maintain trust and collaboration.

    Good luck and we will see you at the next stop! All aboard!

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  • Wearing All the Hats (and None of Them Fit): The Many Roles of a Caregiver

    May 13, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Being a full-time, in-home caregiver is a bit like starring in your own one-person show. Except there’s no script, no intermission, and the audience might throw apples (or worse). One minute you’re a nurse, the next you’re a short-order cook, then a personal assistant, therapist, tech support, housekeeper, and occasional magician. It is never ending.

    And let’s be honest… not one of those roles comes with a paycheck, benefits, or even a decent break room. (Unless you count the bathroom, where you hide for five sacred minutes with a protein bar.)

    Nurse (But Without the Degree)

    You’ve mastered medication schedules better than some pharmacists. You know the difference between a good blood pressure reading and a “we need to go now” reading. You’ve learned how to decipher what “my leg feels buzzy” actually means. And you’ve done it all while trying to keep your loved one calm—and yourself from Googling symptoms at 2 a.m.

    Chef (Who Takes Requests But Gets Complaints)

    Some days you’re creating gourmet soft-food meals. Other days, you’re just trying to make toast without setting off the smoke detector. You’ll hear things like, “This tastes funny,” even though it’s the exact same meal they asked for yesterday. Culinary excellence? Optional. Thick skin? Required.

    Executive Assistant

    You schedule appointments, track paperwork, reorder prescriptions, and manage calendars like a Fortune 500 CEO—except your client thinks it’s 1978 and wonders why you’re always “on that darn computer.”

    Housekeeper (Who Also Chases Dust Bunnies)

    You clean everything. Constantly. Then clean it again because somehow, that same tissue reappears like it’s haunting you. Laundry piles, clutter stacks, and mysterious smells become part of your daily scavenger hunt. And, honestly, they are not that important – leave them once in a while.

    Tech Support

    You’ve rebooted the TV remote more times than you can count. You’ve explained the difference between a text and a voicemail. And if one more button disappears from the phone screen, you might just throw it in the toaster.

    Therapist (Without the Couch)

    You listen to fears, regrets, memories, and confusion. You try to ease worries you can’t fix. You become the safe place for tears, venting, and occasional misplaced frustration. And even when your own emotional tank is running on fumes, you keep showing up.

    Magician

    Because sometimes, you pull peace out of chaos. You conjure patience when there’s none left. You make laughter out of tears. And you perform the greatest disappearing act of all—your needs vanish to make room for theirs.

    But Here’s the Thing…

    Yes, caregiving is exhausting. It’s heavy, relentless, and often invisible. But it’s also filled with profound moments of connection. There’s a kind of sacredness to being the one constant in someone’s unraveling world.

    And despite the exhaustion, the absurdity, and the very real moments when you want to scream into a pillow—you stay. You love. You show up again and again.

    Because underneath all those hats is a heart that refuses to give up.

    Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Stop trying to wear all the hats all the time.
    Pick one or two roles to truly focus on each day, and delegate the rest when you can. Can a friend drop off a meal? Let them. Can your sibling call and handle a bill? Ask them. You’re not failing—you’re managing. And that, my friend, is the real magic trick. Management – not doing it all, all the time.

    All aboard! We’re headed to the next stop of the Silver Haired Choo Choo! It’s spring and there are flowers to plant and the master gardener has made an appearance.

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  • “Still My Mother. Still My Blessing.”

    May 11, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Today, we pause to be a daughter —and honor our mothers.

    Because before we were their caregivers, we were their children.
    And before our mothers needed help remembering, walking, or understanding the world around them, they were the ones teaching us how to live in it.

    They did the best they could—maybe not perfectly—but they showed up, again and again, in the ways that greatly mattered.

    They tied our shoes.
    They made impossible things feel possible.
    They stayed up late to talk or to worry or to pray.
    They packed lunches, dried tears, and clapped for us when we didn’t even know someone was watching.
    They taught us how to be strong.

    How to be kind.

    How to keep going.

    And now, it’s our turn to love them with the same quiet strength.

    Not just because of where they are today, but because of who they’ve always been.

    So today, we say thank you, Mom.
    For everything we remember—and everything you’ve forgotten.
    You are still the woman who shaped our lives.
    You are still worthy of all the honor.
    You are still ours.
    And we will forever be your children – and we will always love you.

    Proverbs 31:28: Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

    Happy Mother’s Day from The Silver Haired Choo Choo

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  • The Caregiver’s Kitchen: Wholesome Bites and Heartfelt Moments”

    May 6, 2025
    Uncategorized

    It’s rainy and cold today . This weather always makes me think of comfort foods like tomato soup and toasted cheese. That brings me to my topic for today which is the role that food can play in the care of our loved ones.

    Mealtime can be more than just nourishment—it can be an opportunity for connection, joy, and fun. For caregivers, adapting meals to be both enjoyable and manageable is key. Here are some creative meal ideas to brighten your daily routine.

    Soup & Memories

    There’s something inherently comforting about a warm bowl of soup. Preparing a simple, easy-to-eat soup like butternut squash or creamy cauliflower can be both nourishing and soothing for your loved one. My mom’s favorite is chicken noodle! While the soup simmers, take this opportunity to sit together and share stories from the past or the present. Discussing cherished memories can stimulate cognitive function and provide emotional comfort. This combination of sensory warmth and reminiscing can make mealtime a highlight of the day.​ Just remember to keep it simple and don’t ask, “Do you remember (open ended)…rather ask simple questions to nudge their memories.”

    Breakfast for Dinner

    This one is always fun – and mom loves it! Switching up the routine by serving breakfast foods for dinner can bring a sense of novelty and fun. Consider preparing soft, easy-to-chew options like scrambled eggs, oatmeal with mashed bananas, or pancakes topped with pureed fruits. These familiar flavors can be comforting and may even evoke pleasant memories. Plus, the simplicity of breakfast foods often makes them easier to prepare and more manageable for those with dietary restrictions.​

    Mini Egg Muffins

    Whisk together eggs, diced vegetables, and a sprinkle of cheese, then bake in muffin tins. These bite-sized delights are easy to handle and can be customized with various ingredients to suit your loved one’s preferences.​ If you need to up the protein, add ricotta cheese or cottage cheese – sounds weird, but it’s wonderful!

    Soft Veggie Fritters

    Combine mashed sweet potatoes or carrots and onion with a bit of flour and seasoning, then pan-fry until golden and crispy. These soft fritters are flavorful and easy to chew, making them ideal for those with dental sensitivities.​

    Deconstructed Sandwich Plates

    Instead of traditional sandwiches, present the components separately: slices of soft bread, deli meats, cheeses, and spreads. This allows your loved one to assemble their own bites, promoting engagement and choice.​

    Mini Muffin Tin Meals

    Use a muffin tin to create mini portions of various dishes:​

    • Mini Quiches: Fill with eggs, cheese, and vegetables.​
    • Meatloaf Bites: Prepare small servings of meatloaf for easy handling.​
    • Mac and Cheese Cups: Bake individual portions for a fun twist.​

    These bite-sized meals are not only fun but also easy to store and reheat.​

    Fruit and Cheese Kabobs

    Assemble soft fruits like melon and strawberries with mild cheese cubes on skewers (ensure the skewers are safe and appropriate). These colorful kabobs are visually appealing and easy to eat.​

    Smoothie Bowls

    Blend fruits with yogurt to create a thick smoothie, then top with soft granola or finely chopped nuts. Serve in a bowl for a spoonable treat that’s both nutritious and enjoyable.​

    Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Create a Visual Meal Calendar

    Design a simple, colorful calendar displaying the week’s meals with pictures. This not only helps your loved one anticipate what’s coming but also stimulates conversation and engagement around mealtime.

    See you at the next stop! Choo choo!!!!

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  • More Than Medicine: Why Hospice and Palliative Care (and Chocolate Shakes) are About Living Fully – Part 2

    May 1, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Guest Blog by Jenta Kunkel

    Welcome back, friends!          
    If you’re just joining us, this special two-part series is written by my wonderful friend, Jenta Kunkel — a woman with a heart bigger than Texas, years of hospice care experience, and a true gift for helping families navigate these tender decisions with wisdom, compassion, and grace.

    Today, we’re continuing our journey, digging deeper into the differences between Palliative Care and Hospice Care — and why both can be a lifeline, not a death sentence.

    So refill that coffee (or wine) and let’s keep going. Spoon in hand!

    Palliative Care: Early Support for the Journey

    • Can be provided at any age and at any stage of a serious illness—not just for the elderly.
    • Begins alongside curative treatments — you can still be seeking a cure or remission.
    • Symptom management is a top priority: pain, nausea, fatigue, anxiety, and more.
    • Care is interdisciplinary — involving several specialists (physicians, nurses, social workers, chaplains, etc.).
    • Available in multiple settings: hospitals, outpatient clinics, long-term care facilities, assisted living, and homes.
    • Focuses on quality of life — even while treatment continues.

    Hospice Care: Dignity, Comfort, and Compassion

    • Falls under the larger umbrella of Palliative Care.
    • Provided at any age but usually when a person’s life expectancy is six months or less, based on physician judgment.
    • Focuses entirely on comfort and quality of life, not curing the illness.
    • Not assisted suicide or euthanasia — Hospice does not hasten death.
    • Does not mean giving up hope — it shifts the focus to living fully, comfortably, and meaningfully.
    • Care can start earlier than most people realize, providing months of support and cherished time with family.
    • Hospice can be revoked at any time if a patient chooses, and re-enrolled if needed later.
    • Medications unrelated to the hospice diagnosis (like blood pressure meds) can continue but are billed through regular insurance, not hospice.
    • Bereavement Care continues for families for up to one full year after loss — offering grief counseling and emotional support at no cost.

    Common Misconceptions About Hospice and Palliative Care

    • Hospice and Palliative Care are NOT only for cancer patients.
    • Hospice is NOT just for the final days or hours.
    • Accepting Hospice does NOT mean abandoning all treatments — it means shifting to comfort-driven care.
    • Choosing Hospice does NOT remove hope — it changes the definition of hope to peace, comfort, and dignity.

    Choosing the Right Hospice or Palliative Provider

    Interview, interview, interview and find the right one for your loved one and family!
    Not every hospice agency is created equal!

    • Look up reviews.
    • Ask questions about their philosophy of care.
    • Notice how they treat you when you call:
      If they’re too busy, rushed, or dismissive — move on. You and your loved one deserve nothing less than genuine, patient, compassionate care.

    It’s a deep topic, and a deeply divided topic, but we’ve focused on the points that we can all agree on. As always, discuss options with your primary care physician and make the choices that will make either option one that will give your loved one the most peace, and best quality of life.

    Here are some helpful resources that you can use to find out more information.

    • National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
    • National Institute on Aging — Care and Comfort at the End of Life
    • Veterans Affairs Hospice Care
    • Medicare Hospice Benefits Guide
    • Butterfly Book on Amazon ($2.99) (No profit to Jenta—just a resource she recommends.)
    • CaringInfo: Palliative Care vs. Hospice
    • BC Guidelines on Palliative Care (PDF)

    Hospice and Palliative Care are not about giving up—they are about leaning in. They are about making sure every breath, every hug, every laugh, every tear, and every sunset counts. They are about honoring life until the very last moment.

    Thank you, Jenta, for sharing your heart, your knowledge, and your incredible compassion with us today. The Silver Haired Choo Choo—and everyone who boards this ride—is better for it.

    Caregiver Hack of the Week

    Start the Conversation Early—Before It’s an Emergency

    Talking about hospice, palliative care, or end-of-life wishes doesn’t have to happen in a crisis. Start while things are calm—over coffee, during a quiet evening, or while sharing a memory. When these conversations happen early and gently, decisions later feel less rushed, less panicked, and filled with more love and clarity.
    Because honoring someone’s wishes is one of the greatest gifts you can give them—and yourself.

    No comments on More Than Medicine: Why Hospice and Palliative Care (and Chocolate Shakes) are About Living Fully – Part 2

  • “Hope, Comfort, and Chocolate Milkshakes: Understanding Hospice and Palliative Care” Part 1

    April 30, 2025
    Uncategorized

    Guest Blog by Jenta Kunkel

    At The Silver Haired Choo Choo, we believe knowledge is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself—and to those you care for.

    I’ve had so many questions and emotions swirling from caregivers about hospice and palliative care that I wanted to provide some information that is tried and true.


    Today, I am handing my pen over to someone who is so special and dear to me. Jenta Kunkel, MSN, RN, FNP-BC, PHN (or as she prefers Nurse Practitioner sans all the alphabet soup) whose most recent focus has been Hospice as a Family Nurse Practitioner after experiencing how confusing and scary Hospice and Palliative care can be without an advocate.  She is going to tackle this tough and touchy subject and do it with knowledge and a grace and grit that I do not possess.


    Jenta has dedicated several years throughout her career to the specialty of hospice care, pouring her huge heart and compassionate spirit into every patient and family she’s touched. She share with me that it is one of her favorite specialties as a Nurse Practitioner. I asked her to give us a clear, honest explanation of the difference between Palliative Care and Hospice Care—and why Hospice isn’t just for the dying. 

    Grab your coffee (or a glass of wine—we won’t judge) and settle in. Jenta’s wisdom is worth every word and the time it takes to read it.  Thank you, Jenta for doing this for us. I’m so grateful and appreciative for your open and willing heart!

    Let’s Dig In (Spoon Optional)

    When discussing Palliative Care or Hospice Care, it can feel like you’re digging a rabbit hole with a teaspoon.Online searches make your head spin, your eyes cross, and no amount of coffee can reboot your brain. It’s overwhelming. I get it.


    I’m here to give you the bullet-point version — to point you toward informed decisions, without falling into a coma.

    But first, hear this: this doesn’t have to be a time of sadness.  In fact, some of my most humorous stories have come out of hospice.

    • A patient who joyfully requested daily chocolate milkshakes as part of her care plan. (You better believe we brought them—even when she didn’t drink them, they made her smile!)
    • A 101-year-old woman who politely suggested that if she had to stare out the window all day, she’d like “a better-looking pool guy… maybe younger… 50 or 60?”
    • A gentleman who winked and said, “I should have gone on hospice years ago—I haven’t taken out the garbage once, I watch football without interruption, and if I want people to leave me alone, I just say I need rest. I like this!”

    It’s okay to laugh.
    It’s okay to cry. 
    It’s okay to be tired, joyful, sad, and hopeful—all at once.
    It’s all okay.  It’s real.  It’s life.

    Ready?  Let’s dive in.

    Palliative Care vs. Hospice Care: How Are They the Same?

    Both focus on quality of life, not just length of life.
    Both are patient and family-centered.
    Both offer medical support like social workers, chaplains, physicians, nurses, volunteers, and help with medications and equipment.
    Both provide emotional, spiritual, and social support.
    Both encourage advance care planning and are covered by most insurance plans, including Medicare and Medicaid (with some fine print, of course—because it’s healthcare).
    Both allow you to revoke services at any time.

    Both services can be provided in:

    • Hospitals
    • Hospice Programs (like Enhabit, Vitas, Elizabeth Hospice, the VA)
    • Long-Term Care Facilities
    • Assisted Living Facilities
    • Personal Homes

    What Palliative Care and Hospice ARE NOT:

    • They are NOT “Home Health” (which focuses on rehabilitation and recovery).
    • They are NOT a way to “hasten death.”
      In fact, some hospice patients live longer than expected—and a few even improve enough to be discharged from hospice!
      It’s about comfort and dignity, not giving up.

    Who Can Benefit?

    • People of all ages with serious illnesses like cancer, heart failure, or lung disease.
    • Families and caregivers who need emotional and practical support.

    So now that we understand what hospice and palliative care are  – our next stop is going to be a deeper dive.  All aboard!

    No comments on “Hope, Comfort, and Chocolate Milkshakes: Understanding Hospice and Palliative Care” Part 1
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